Every day you face misunderstanding and condemnation. People will always be interested in you, try to change you, remake you for themselves. When a person commits certain actions in his life, he subconsciously brings them to the attention of the public. Everyone wants to get approval from friends, work colleagues or just acquaintances with whom they have little connection. When you give in to the opinions of others, you constrain yourself, preventing yourself from liberating yourself and doing what you really want. In this article, you will find tips and reasoning that in the future will help you stop depending on other people’s opinions, become more liberated and live freely.
Reasons for depending on other people's opinions
It is difficult to stop depending on public opinion, but it is quite possible. Initially, it is worth understanding the reasons for this dependence. Here are some of the reasons:
- A person constantly experiences a feeling of imperfection when looking at others. This may concern appearance, material well-being or personal life;
- Competition is present in any society and everyone wants to take first place, even if he denies it in every possible way;
- During the formation of the psyche in adolescence, certain stereotypes and ideas about a good life are deposited in the head of the future personality. In adulthood, a person begins to unconsciously evaluate both himself and others according to these criteria.
Addiction breeds fear
People have several types of fear in relation to society:
- fear of negative evaluation;
- fear of not being accepted in a new society;
- fear of attention deficit in society.
Such fears can lead a person to social phobia.
How to stop depending on other people's opinions
Most of us are very dependent on the opinions of others, and this circumstance often ruins our lives. Someone tries to adapt, changing their opinion under the influence of the environment. Others silently endure negative statements, but suffer greatly and depend on other people’s opinions, self-esteem decreases and, as a result, neuroses and depression arise. How not to depend on other people's opinions? What do I need to do?
Divide all people according to their importance to you:
- people whose opinions are very important to us and who are really worth listening to;
- people whose opinions are sometimes worth considering;
- people who mean nothing to you.
Life is such that we constantly hear opinions about any events. And there are a huge number of opinions, everyone has their own, it is impossible to simply physically listen to everyone, especially if these opinions are unpleasant for us and interfere with our lives. It is very important to be able to understand people in order to understand whether it is worth listening to them.
Separate the wheat from the chaff
From each opinion you need to extract only the useful, and throw the rest of the garbage out of your head! The main thing is not to let others ruin your life with their opinions. “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me,” English proverb.
Already know that you are a cool, beautiful and worthy person! This brings home the idea that it doesn't matter what other people think of you. The main thing is what you think about yourself and how you feel!
You don’t want to live all the time waiting for someone’s support or a compliment addressed to you? Then start supporting and approving yourself. Shift the focus of your thoughts from what others think about you to what you think about yourself and how you feel. Do you like yourself? Straighten your back, how do you feel now? Cheer yourself up, tell yourself that you are beautiful and successful, no matter how you look now (after all, it’s not your clothes that determine your status, but your sense of self). Stop looking for approval in the views of others. Let them evaluate themselves. And you already know that you are beautiful and self-sufficient, even if your appearance talks about something else.
Conclusion
All people, of course, are very different from each other. They all see the world differently, they have different appearances, psychology, opinions and views. Maybe our world will become a better place when we learn to respect the choices of others and try to look after ourselves rather than the activities of others. Never stop on your way, think and do as your heart tells you. Happiness and inspiration!
Many people cannot even imagine how strong the reflex is to look around at others. Try asking at least a small audience to do something. You will see that the majority will look around: are the rest doing it? who is doing? how does? what will they think? In any undertaking, this reaction is most often the first to trigger - to look at others.
It’s not easy for those who constantly ask themselves questions that remain unanswered: “What will they think of me?”, “Will people like me if I’m myself?” And this takes a lot of energy. In the article we will look at how to stop depending on other people’s opinions and not taking them into account, as well as how to gain self-confidence.
Accepting yourself as you are
One of the most frequently asked questions at the trainings is: “How to get rid of sensitivity to what others will think about you?”
Is it necessary to do this at all? Man is a collective, not a solitary being. His life takes place in various relationships. Therefore, it is good if the opinion of those around you matters to you. Sensitivity in this way, on the contrary, is a very useful and strong feeling. The main thing is not to create an enemy out of her who will oppress her for the rest of her life. Experts in the field of psychology say that in order to get rid of addiction, you need to direct its power in the right direction and learn to use it for good.
What desires are hidden behind the fear of condemnation? Do you like it? Save the relationship? Feeling good? All this applies exclusively to positive and beautiful motives! Therefore, first you need to turn to your true aspirations, think about what you really want.
You just have to remind yourself more often: there is no anomaly in this. Anyone can experience the fear of being judged. For any person, the opinion of those around him is important.
Thanks to this sensitivity, you are capable of empathy, you can feel what others are experiencing. And empathy is wonderful! Therefore, do not strive to get rid of the fear of condemnation. Try to love the part of yourself that is so sensitive to the opinions of others.
Any famous person, any star of show business, cinema or sports, may experience fear of disapproval. Even Olympic champions successful businessmen, artists, actors - everyone has it. Only some to a greater extent, and some to a lesser extent. But they have the tools to transform their fear.
Relaxation
Do you want to keep others' opinions under control? The stronger the desire, the more your head will be occupied with unnecessary thoughts. You won't be able to be yourself. The environment will begin to reject you, and you too. Relax!
We start with the body: exhale and “reset” the hands down. As you exhale, release the desire for control. You need to stop creating a “good impression” on the outside. Instead, you need to return to yourself, that is, move from impressing others to expressing yourself. From impression to expression (from imitation to expression).
And if at this moment it seems to you that something bad has happened, do not reproach yourself. Later you will understand: even this was correct. Right for you!
Coming to terms with your own self
Only your authenticity will allow you to attract into life the right people, “your” people, and stop being afraid of the opinions of others and being dependent. Do you want to be like someone else? Could there be anything worse than “I am no longer me”? Understand that wanting to be someone else erases your self. And when it disappears, it can no longer be with you or with others.
Authenticity is the best gift! When you are sincere, only those people who like you for who you are are attracted. They certainly won't be able to turn their backs on you for who you really are. Because it was precisely these qualities that attracted them.
But those who love your “ostentatious” qualities may later hate you for deception. In this case, it is better to hate yourself for who you really are. At least it deserves it.
Authenticity gives freedom. Vulnerability appears, but there is nothing to lose. By taking a step towards yourself, towards vulnerability, you recognize your own imperfections and improve your well-being.
It's not scary, even if you have someone to lose. Only those people who are “wrong”, not yours, will leave. This will happen because there was no love and there never will be. It is impossible to love only one side of a person. This feeling is holistic: both to your light and to your darkness.
Become a source of inspiration
The desire to be loved is a manifestation of selfishness. A person thinks only about himself, seeking the love of those around him.
The desire to inspire is the opposite side of egocentrism. Direct your aspirations to help others, become a source of inspiration.
Someone may think: I have nothing to inspire, I am nothing but imperfection. Yes, everyone can make mistakes. But even such moments can serve as an example for someone. If you look inside, you can only see your own ego, which has suffered from a mistake. But once you turn your attention to those around you, make sure that for someone you are a hero.
Remember, super heroes always have at least one flaw: Achilles has a heel, Superman has kryptonite. There is not a single film where the hero has no weaknesses at all. No one would watch them, because the viewer will not be able to identify with himself and will not experience empathy.
It turns out that to become someone's role model, you just need to be imperfect. So be them, inspire!
You should not get attached to a positive reaction, positive feedback. If they begin to mean a lot, then the negative will definitely begin not only to cling, but also to hurt.
Everything positive is not considered a problem; it is not customary to complain about good things.
Often people become attached to positive assessments, and assign special value to those who consider them beautiful, extraordinary, and kind. But if the importance of one pole increases, the other will also become more significant.
Therefore, the desire to free yourself from the fear of condemnation also presupposes getting rid of dependence on praise. That is, it should no longer matter to you whether they love you or not.
It happens that you say to yourself: “today you were the coolest,” “you did great,” slightly exaggerating your success, with the intention of being superior to others in your own eyes for at least a few seconds. Life immediately shows you with a nice little kick where you belong—on a level with everyone else. But you decided to rise above others, so you have to plunge into the mud. This is necessary to restore balance. After all, in fact, in every person there is as much wonderful as there is disgusting. Everyone maintains the unity of opposites.
Therefore, you will have to free yourself not only from shame and fear of condemnation, but also from a sense of self-importance in the sense of advantage over others.
Self-determination
If a person cannot decide who he is, determine his value, others will do it for him. Try to tell someone who does not recognize his worth that he is mediocrity, and this very label will be fixed in his mind.
If a person defines himself, then the place in consciousness is already occupied. Where “I AM SUPER” is written in big letters, “mediocrity” no longer fits. Therefore, you don’t need to wait for others to label you; have time to decide for yourself.
Focus on what's important
Think about it, is it really important for you to achieve someone’s love at any cost? Try to focus on what really matters. Shift your desires from the sector I want to “have” to the sector I want to “become”. When it becomes more important, your actions are directed towards achieving this goal. Everything around changes, appears in a different light. A feeling of freedom from other people's opinions. What matters is not what they think of you, but who you become.
In this case, critical comments in your direction will help you develop. Critical people will stimulate your self-love so that you work on your mistakes. This will inevitably lead to personal growth. Therefore, take criticism with gratitude.
Focus on simple things that will help you feel free. You can become happy by helping other people. For example, provide useful, high-quality information in the form of texts and videos. Let every small action change you. Don't strive to be the best, give the best. This is something that you definitely can and definitely control. Even one person you make happy will give you more positive emotions and self-confidence.
When you take a long-term view, you realize that criticism is more beneficial than praise. And this means goodbye to dependence on approval!
Liberation
The more you can focus on personal freedom, the better you will feel. And only you will be able to determine for yourself: how to dress, what to say, what to do, where to go. This is your free choice, which you will accept without fear of what others will think. The difference will be immediately noticeable.
How can you ignore other people’s opinions and talk about yourself in order to get rid of shyness? How to ignore others and be confident in yourself? It's simple. Step back from your appearance. It doesn’t matter what clothes you wear, what you do, what you think about. Stop paying attention to the views of people around you and learn to concentrate on the feeling that you are an adult, confident man.
Don't look for signs of approval and support in passersby. You don't care what they think about you when they look in your direction, because you already have self-confidence inside. Feelings of success and self-sufficiency have a positive effect on a person’s confidence.
What matters is how you think and feel about yourself! If: “I’m a cool, worthy person!”, then they no longer give a damn about other people’s opinions.
You need to start supporting and approving yourself. Otherwise, you can wait your whole life for outside support and compliments. To do this, you need to shift your focus from other people's opinions to your own: “Who am I? What I feel? Do I like myself?
Straighten your shoulders and back. Now what does it feel like? Praise yourself, your beauty, your success, without taking into account how you look now - only how you feel is important. Stop looking for a positive reaction from others - you already have all the beauty and self-sufficiency.
Each person is individual. We all differ in our vision of life, appearance, psychology, opinions, views. But everyone is capable of changing the world for the better if they learn to respect others, their choices, if they take care of themselves, if they stop listening only to others. Now you know how to get rid of dependence on other people's opinions. Do as your heart tells you. And never stop on your chosen path!
How can you not pay attention to the opinions of people around you? This can be really difficult. After all, from the day we are born, our actions are already carefully assessed by society. We are forced to shape our lives according to certain sets of principles that are passed on to us or imposed on us. Therefore, we live, dress and behave in such a way as to become socially acceptable and to gain the recognition of others.
We shape our lives based on... People are greatly influenced by various opinion leaders. They keep a close eye on how many likes their photos receive on Instagram and Facebook. And how many subscribers they have. Generally speaking, we cease to consciously manage both our real life, and online. In this article we will give several practical advice How to ignore the opinions of people around you. Because we don't have to please others or get anyone's approval. We must have our own opinion.
1. Accept the real you
Accepting yourself for who you are is definitely not as easy as it seems. But on the other hand, you will be able to completely control how you feel about yourself by stopping worrying about what other people think. Start by listing everything you don't like about yourself. Then analyze whether you can actually change these things? For example, if you are overweight and want to lose weight, try various ways do it. But if you fail to achieve results, then you should not blame yourself. After all, there are some things that we cannot fix. For example, if you are too tall, you cannot become shorter. In this case, you need to accept your real self and live in the current situation.
2. Most people are not interested in your life.
We often worry about what people will think of us. But the reality is that people are too busy with their own problems. Most of us focus on our shortcomings. And you are of little interest to them unless you have a direct impact on their lives. Men in modern society concentrate on themselves. For example, if you trip down a hallway, you might think that the audience will laugh at you and remember you as being awkward. But the fact is that many will not even notice this, and if they do, they will immediately forget because they have too much to do.
3. Stay true to your opinions
Stop meeting people's expectations and trying to please someone all the time, or trying to satisfy someone's needs. Because they will never end. You need to learn to pay more attention to yourself. Stick to what you truly believe in. Stay true to your opinion. Of course, people may disagree with you. But that doesn't mean you have to change your image or life to please someone.
4. Determine your purpose in life
Another important step The answer to not paying attention to other people's opinions is that you must determine exactly what matters most to you and what yours is. The moment you understand who you really are and what goals you want to achieve. Then other people's opinions become less important. Knowing your worth will force you to stand up for what you believe in. Try to stick to your plans, no matter what others say. This way no one will put pressure on you. And you will learn to speak "No" things you don't want to do. So understanding your own goals.
5. Make a list of what you want to change about yourself
Write down what you don't like about yourself. It could be things like insecurities, fears or something like that. Now that you know them, start working on them. This will help you not to pay attention to the opinions of others. Study everything you have listed one by one. And then work until you reach your comfort zone. Because confidence will not come until we start working on our shortcomings.
6. Think about positive outcomes
Sometimes thinking about what others might say can prevent you from taking even small actions that could be beneficial. In any case, there will be a person who will disapprove of your actions. But don't let this discourage you from moving forward. For example, I'm sure every great person has worried about what people will say before doing anything significant. But this did not stop him from achieving results. Therefore you should also, no matter what people say. However, you should not become too selfish by focusing only on yourself. Especially when you achieve success.
7. Stop guessing what people think.
Sometimes guessing someone's thoughts and opinions turns into a complete disaster. This can lead to huge misunderstandings and... So there is no need to think about what is going on in a person’s head and try to guess someone’s opinion. You can simply ask about it and see the result.
8. Fill your free time with something useful
Try to focus your energy on the positive aspects of life without worrying about what's ahead. Live every second in joy and happiness. The real acceptance to seek is what your heart gives. The moment you feel good about completing tasks, you will realize that other people's acceptance hardly matters. Therefore, stop paying attention to the opinions of others. Choose your own path. Explore the world more and find out what suits you best.
9. Don't be afraid to stand out
It is completely normal to imitate someone, especially if it is your parent or a famous person. But people often do this when they feel insecure. By imitating others, you erase your true essence and end up living someone else's life. Therefore, if you can develop your own individuality, it will make you more confident in yourself, and you will be able to not pay attention to the opinions of others.
We are satisfied with life when loved ones and significant people are waiting for us. This dependence can be taken for granted and “don’t scratch where it doesn’t itch.” What to do if it doesn’t give you peace public opinion? Know yourself and make sure you are worthy of love and respect.
It would seem, what difference does it make to us, who thinks what about how beautiful we are, what we are wearing, what we said or did? The famous woman once said: “I don’t care what you think about me, because I don’t think about you at all.” The same opinion is shared by our contemporary American actress Cameron Diaz, who said that she does not care about other people’s opinions, and she will live her life the way she wants, and not someone else.
People who are independent of other people's opinions can be envied, but they are in the minority. Most people need the approval of others, sometimes even those they don’t like. For some, such addiction generally becomes so painful that they need the services of a psychotherapist. In particular, actress Megan Fox, known for her phobias, has mental problems. Although, according to her, she often manages to ignore the streams of lies spread about her by tabloid publications, nevertheless, she once stated: “... Believe me, I care what people think about me... because I’m not a robot "
Impressionable people with a vulnerable psyche, and especially young people, are too dependent on the opinions of others. Perhaps they will feel better when they learn about the “18-40-60” rule by American psychologist Daniel Amen, the author of many bestsellers, including “Change your brain, change your life!” He assures his patients who suffer from complexes, lack self-confidence and are overly dependent on the opinions of other people: “At 18 you care what others think of you, at 40 you no longer care, and at 60 you understand what others think about you.” They don’t think at all.”
Where does this dependence on other people’s opinions, the desire to please and earn words of approval, sometimes even from strangers, come from?
Of course, there is nothing wrong with charming your interlocutor and making a favorable impression on him. After all, as they say, “ kind word and it’s nice for the cat.”
It's about about something else: about cases when, in an effort to be liked, a person says not what he thinks, but what others would like to hear from him; dresses not as he is comfortable, but as his friends or parents impose on him. Gradually, without noticing how, these people lose their individuality and stop living their lives. How many destinies have failed because the opinions of others were put above one’s own!
Such problems have always existed – as long as humanity has existed. Another Chinese philosopher who lived BC. e., noted: “Worry about what other people think of you, and you will forever remain their prisoner.”
Psychologists say that dependence on other people’s opinions is characteristic primarily of people with low self-esteem. Why people don’t value themselves is another question. Perhaps they were “shut down” by authoritarian parents or perfectionist parents. Or maybe they lost faith in themselves and their abilities due to successive failures. As a result, they begin to consider their opinions and feelings not worthy of anyone else's attention. Worried that they will not be respected, taken seriously, unloved and rejected, they try to be “like everyone else” or to be like those who, in their opinion, enjoy authority. Before they do anything, they ask themselves the question: “What will people think?”
By the way, the well-known work of A. Griboyedov, “Woe from Wit,” written back in the 19th century, ends with the words of Famusov, who is not worried about the conflict that occurred in his house, but “What will Princess Marya Alekseevna say?” In this work, Famus society with its sanctimonious morality is opposed by Chatsky, a self-sufficient person with his own opinion.
Let's face it: depending on the opinions of others is bad, because people who do not have their own point of view are treated with condescension, they are not taken into account and respected. And, feeling this, they suffer even more. Essentially, they cannot be happy because they are constantly in a state of internal conflict. They are haunted by a feeling of dissatisfaction with themselves, and their mental anguish repels people who prefer to communicate with those who are confident in themselves.
True, there is another extreme: one’s own opinion, desires and feelings are placed above all else. Such people live by the principle: “There are two opinions - mine and the wrong one.” But this, as they say, “is a completely different story.”
Is it possible to learn not to depend on other people's opinions?
As secretary Verochka said from the movie “Office Romance,” if you want, “you can teach a hare to smoke.” But seriously, people underestimate their capabilities: they can do a lot, including
1. Change yourself, that is, learn to be yourself
And for this, first of all, you need a strong desire. Writer Ray Bradbury told people: “You can get anything you need if you really need it.”
Changing yourself means changing the way you think. Anyone who changes his thinking will be able to change his life (unless, of course, he is not satisfied with it). After all, everything we have in life is the result of our thoughts, decisions, behavior in different situations. When making a choice, it is worth thinking about what is paramount for us - own life or illusions of other people.
Known for his bright individuality, the artist said that he developed the habit of being different from everyone else and behaving differently than other mortals in his childhood;
2. Control yourself
Having your own opinion does not mean not listening to others. Someone may have more experience or be more competent in some matters. When making a decision, it is important to understand what it is dictated by: your own needs or the desire to keep up with others, the fear of not being a black sheep.
There are many examples when we make a choice, thinking that it is ours, but in fact everything has already been decided for us by friends, parents, colleagues. A young man is forced into marriage because “it’s the right thing” and “it’s time,” because all his friends already have children. A 25-year-old girl who studies in the city is asked by her mother to bring at least some young man with her to the village during the holidays, passing her off as her husband, because her mother is ashamed in front of her neighbors that her daughter is not yet married. People buy things they don't need and have expensive weddings just to meet other people's expectations.
When making a choice and making a decision, it is worth asking yourself how well it corresponds to our desires. Otherwise, it’s easy to let yourself be led astray from your own path in life;
3. Love yourself
Ideal is a relative concept. What serves as an ideal for one may not be of any interest to another. Therefore, no matter how hard we try, there will still be a person who will judge us. There are so many people, so many opinions – it’s impossible to please everyone. Yes, I’m “not a piece of gold to please everyone,” said some literary hero.
So why waste your mental strength on a useless activity? Isn't it better to take a closer look at ourselves in order to finally realize how unique we are and worthy of our own love and respect! This is not about selfish narcissism, but about love for your body and your soul as a single whole.
A person who does not love his home does not put it in order and does not decorate it. Someone who doesn’t love himself doesn’t care about his own development and becomes uninteresting, therefore he doesn’t have his own opinion and passes off someone else’s as his own;
4. Stop overthinking
Many of us exaggerate our importance in the lives of others. A married colleague had an affair with a co-worker. No one was interested in this fact enough to discuss it for more than a few minutes. But it seemed to the employee that everyone was talking about him. And indeed, with all his appearance he did not let people forget about it: he blushed, turned pale, stuttered and in the end quit, unable to stand, as he believed, the behind-the-scenes conversations. In reality, no one was interested in his fate, because each person is concerned primarily with his own problems.
All people are primarily concerned with themselves, and even if someone wears socks of different colors, a sweater inside out, or dyes their hair pink, he will not be able to surprise them or attract their attention. Therefore, you should not depend on the opinions of others, who are often completely indifferent to us;
5. Learn to ignore other people’s opinions if they are not constructive
Only those who are nothing are not criticized. American writer Elbert Hubbrad said that if you are afraid of being criticized, then “do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” But we don’t want to “be anything.” This means we accept constructive criticism and do not pay attention to that with which we disagree, not letting it determine our lives. The famous one, addressing graduates of Stanford University, admonished them: “Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
Other people's success and popularity often arouse envy among people who covet them but lack the intelligence, ability, or self-discipline to win them. Such people are called haters, and they live on the Internet. They express their “hateful” opinions in the comments, trying to break down and force “to leave” those who, in their opinion, have undeservedly received fame. And sometimes they succeed.
Those who like to criticize, wrote Oscar Wilde, are those who are not able to create something themselves. Therefore, they are deplorable, and should be treated with a dose of irony and humor. As one friend says, their opinion will not affect my bank account in any way.
Every person wants to be liked by others, dreams of being attractive in the eyes of others. Many people constantly monitor their Facebook and Instagram pages, counting likes and comments. To be liked by others is a desire that was born with us.
As we mature, we learn to separate our thoughts and emotions from the opinions of other people, but many of us continue to seek, and in some cases ask, approval of our actions from others. This can lead to serious problems, especially when it comes to self-esteem and happiness. A survey was recently conducted in which 3,000 people took part. 67% of respondents admitted that their self-esteem directly depends on the opinions of other people.
We react to everything that surrounds us. We have long-established expectations about how the world should work and how the people who inhabit it should behave. And one of our firmly established beliefs is that we know how other people should react to us, to our appearance and behavior.
About 100 years ago, sociologist Charles Cooley came up with the theory of the mirror self, the essence of which is as follows:
I am not what I think of myself, and I am not what others think of me. I am what I think about what others think about me.
This once again proves how much importance we attach to the opinions of other people.
However, we forget that other people often judge us based on their past experiences, habits, feelings - everything that has nothing to do with us. Therefore, basing self-esteem on other people's opinions is very unreliable.
When you rely completely on the assessment of other people, you try in every possible way to please them, to rise in their eyes, and ultimately lose your self.
But there is good news: we have the power to stop this. We can become self-sufficient and not look back at others, wondering how they evaluate our every step.
How not to worry about other people's opinions
1. Remind yourself that many people don't think about you at all.
We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how rarely they do.
Ethel Barrett, writer
Nothing could be closer to the truth than this statement. Other people have better things to do than sit and think about you. If it seems to you that someone thinks badly of you, mentally criticizes you, stop: maybe this is a figment of your imagination? Perhaps this is just an illusion that is fueled by your inner fears and self-doubt. If you constantly engage in self-flagellation, this will become a real problem that will poison your whole life.
2. Think with your own head
Sit down and in a calm environment think about the place of other people's opinions in your life. Think about situations in which the evaluations of others are meaningful to you. Determine how you react to them. If you understand that the assessments and opinions of others determine your self-esteem, then think about changing your behavior pattern.
Tell yourself: “Instead of relying on others again, I will learn to listen and hear my own thoughts and think exclusively with my own head.” Learn to cut out unnecessary noise, separate the wheat from the chaff. The more often you do this, the faster it will become a habit.
The ultimate goal of all of this is to never let the opinions of others determine what kind of person you are or how you should live your life. Understand that no one will ever be able to make you feel like a “little person” unless you give them that power yourself.
3. Feel free - don't try to find out what others think of you
When people start sharing their creations publicly, such as blogging, they often worry about whether others will like them. They worry even more when they torment themselves with thoughts that other people don’t like their creativity. Until one day they realize how much effort and energy they spend on these useless experiences.
Have a new mantra that you repeat to yourself every day:
This is my life, my choice, my mistakes and my lessons. I shouldn't care what others think about it.
4. Pay attention to what really matters.
People will always think what they want. You cannot control the thoughts of others. Even if you choose your words carefully and have excellent manners, this does not mean that you will be nice to everyone. Everything can be misinterpreted and turned upside down.
What really matters is how you evaluate yourself. Therefore, when making important decisions, try to be 100% true to your beliefs and values. Never be afraid to do what you think is right.
Start by listing 5-10 qualities that are important to you. For example:
- honesty;
- self-esteem;
- self-discipline;
- compassion;
- focus on success and so on.
If you have a list like this, you will be much less likely to make uninformed decisions, you will have a system of principles, and ultimately you will have something to respect yourself for.
5. Stop thinking that not liking someone is the end of the world.
What if they don't like me? What if the person I care about refuses me? What if I am considered a black sheep? These and similar questions too often plague people. Remember: if someone doesn’t like you, and even if the person you care about doesn’t feel the same way about you, it’s not the end of the world.
But we continue to fear precisely this mythical “end of the world” and allow our fears to get the better of us, constantly feeding them ourselves.
Ask yourself: “If my fears come true and the worst happens, what will I do?” Tell yourself a story (or better yet, write it down) about how you will feel after rejection, how disappointed you will be, and then you will understand that this is a negative, but still an experience, and you will move on. This simple exercise will help you understand that not liking someone is not so scary.
