Below I present three letters - one addressed to me (with the permission of the author and with minor changes) and two simply found on the Internet as living examples; you will definitely see analogies and even similar phrases, plus the identity of the problem. And when there is a problem, you need to SEEK ITS SOLUTION.
what's going on now? EVERYTHING is collapsing... and it’s hard without it. My son has been seriously ill since he was 5 years old - I have seen so much death - and it is still very difficult in all corners of life...
Just broken. That's why I wrote it. There is pain all around and it is very difficult. Although I try to survive... one friend says that you can make a movie based on my life alone...
Maybe look at my card?... I’ve been fighting for my son’s life for 25 years. My husband lost EVERYTHING!! -because we pay our own money for treatment - we are not citizens-. The person with whom everything seemed fine suddenly left. suddenly. My husband lost his job. We were deported. In short - WHERE?? FIND these forces that you write about…. I will try... Very...
**
Hello, I am 22 years old, I am married, I have a beautiful daughter. It all started from the moment I became pregnant. My husband and I had just gotten married. everything was fine, but one day came crisis, my husband was fired from his job. I worked as long as I could, then I went on maternity leave. She gave birth to a child, and then constant moving began. there were 5 of them over the last year. My husband seemed to be working, but somehow everything didn’t work out and he decided to take up entrepreneurial activity. At first everything seemed to work out, but then everything got worse...then the bank was owed a large sum, and now they are suing. Not long ago I found out that I was pregnant again. Of course, I understood that it was not on time, but I was still very happy. my husband was not so positive. then the bleeding started. I called an ambulance, the hospital said that the child had been dead for a long time... it was not just a blow! They did the cleaning... Now a month has passed, I seem to have calmed down. but with money everything is bad. and my husband decided to work part-time in a taxi and today on the first day he lost all his documents and money…
I don’t know how to continue to live and what to do, this is the last straw, I can’t even cry anymore, I sit and giggle stupidly. and the worst thing is that I’m afraid of the future, because it’s far from full list what happened to me over the past two years...
Help me please! How to find the strength to survive all this? how to start over
Thank you in advance…..
**
what to do if life collapses?!
I’m losing all interest in life and the fight for a brighter future, I’ve just come to terms with the fact that I’m always alone (for quite a long period of my life).. And in recent years everything has generally gone in a bad direction, now I’m unemployed, I owe the bank a large amount, I crashed my car today...
I’m just already tired, tired of life, I can’t even cry because I’m tired... tired of these problems... the only thing that I think keeps me in this world is that I love my parents.. But for some reason it seems to me that this too will soon no longer be a hindrance for me, I can’t go on like this... tell me what should I do?
EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN SANTA BARBARA
In all three of these messages we see that problems roll in like a snowball and at some point some unpleasant event occurs (note - non-fatal!) and the person “breaks down”, that is, he reaches the limit of patience and catharsis occurs. Or the peak of the development cycle of his crisis situation.
Firstly, a person is deep inside a situation that seems to him to be a dead end. Looking from the outside, it doesn’t seem so to us. It’s not without reason that they say that you need to “rise above” in order to see the whole picture or from a wider perspective. After all, everything is not so bad.
For example, we often compare ourselves with others - especially when they have something better or have something that we don’t have, and this plunges us into negative feelings of self-pity, envy, sadness, etc.
In this situation of “total collapse”, as advice, you can also suggest comparing your misfortunes with the misfortunes of others in order to feel better.
For example, some women do not have husbands and have to take care of themselves and their children, earn money, solve problems, make decisions, etc.
Some people don’t have a car and have to travel by public transport. Some people don’t have the money to afford to go abroad or just to the sea, etc. Someone does not have health, body parts, vision and hearing, parents, children, housing, etc.
Look at Nick Vuychich - if you think that everything is “bad” for you or that you have been deprived of something. He has neither arms nor legs, but he was able to cope with despondency and despair and even became rich, married a young beauty who bore him a daughter. He is a living motivation to “not be a victim.”
Are you still feeling bad? And do you feel left out?
Sometimes it seems to us that our life is like “Santa Barbara”, with many difficult moments, the first heroine even wrote that a film could be made based on her life, but look around - look at the lives of the people around you, delve into their stories. Each is its own movie, its own unique script, its own series and its own setbacks and failures. Well, who among us hasn’t lost a job? Hands up. Who among us has not been abandoned by a loved one? Any hands up? Who hasn't experienced financial difficulties, major losses, disasters, injuries and accidents? I think that all readers of this article are already sitting with their hands raised. Write if this is not the case.
I myself thought for a long time that the sphere of my personal relationships was completely Santa Barbara and that there was no more unhappy girl in the world, and then I saw that with others it happens not so, much more dramatic and complex.
Conclusion: your life is the same as hundreds and thousands of others, in some ways better, in some ways worse, and YOU ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR.
Advice: try to help yourself get out of the victim state in which you are now to the state of the creator of your life or someone who is able to get out of this dead end, by changing your attitude to what is happening and changing the perspective of attention from focusing on “everything is bad” to focusing on Tom - what do you want instead and how to achieve it.
In no way do I want to encourage you to ignore the problem, I ask you to reset its importance, to reorient your focus. And this is the first step towards solving it.
They say that God does not give trials beyond our strength - we are able to get out of difficult situations, the main thing is to concentrate and gather ourselves. There are many examples when people came out of the most unimaginable situations, help came at the very last moment and in the most miraculous way. But you need to ask about it - God, the Highest.
In moments of despair, go to Him and pray for help, give your situation to Him for consideration. Say what you want, thank him and promise to accept everything as His will, humbly. And no matter what happens next, just live it, accepting it. You can’t sew a severed leg back - so sometimes you need to learn to walk on a prosthesis and live in new conditions. Some even manage to become Olympic champions in this state. We always have a choice - to lie down and “die”, to give up and despair, to fight and win.
Sometimes it seems to us that life is over and there is no point in living further, hope dies, but in fact this is not the end of life, it is the completion of one of its chapters and then a new chapter opens. Let there be something different in it, but this is life, a different plot, a different script, and we have everything to write the best script in this chapter.
CLASSICS OF THE GENRE
Events that are generally considered the most negative are classics of the genre - divorce, loss of work and livelihood, loss of valuables, death of loved ones, health problems, injuries and accidents.
Any person experiences crisis, stress, depression and other negative feelings at this time, but you can react to them in different ways, for some it will be the “end of life”, and for others the “beginning of a new one”. From the success stories of the famous, rich and successful people, we can find out that they also had to go through such “bifurcation points” (the moment of no return), that is, difficult moments when everything collapsed for them, losses occurred, and other crises, but precisely from which the starting point of their future success began.
One of the major information businessmen said that his beloved girlfriend left him, after which he finally got up from the couch and created his own business. Now he is rich and another girl has been found whom he happily married. Another famous blogger and trainer shared the story that a major car accident forced her to change her life dramatically, quit a prestigious job, leave a foreign country, think about the future, return to the country and create her own online training business. And there are millions of such stories. Because that's how the Universe works. We develop through crises.
How else can we be woken up or pulled out of our usual routine, how can we be encouraged to evolve and develop? The universe knocks on windows and doors, and if we don’t hear, then on our heads... so that we finally took their power and did something in their lives; or simply changed something, perhaps long desired, but ignored; or simply followed their Path, from which they deviated, etc.
Metaphorically, a comparison can be made - when a mother calls her child, but he does not hear or ignores the call, then the parent screams louder or even comes up and uses brute force in order to attract attention, so Our Heavenly Father calls, shouts and sometimes does what -to draw our attention to ourselves.
And yes, crisis situations- this is a close path to God, because many of us remember His existence only in difficult moments. And this is a great chance to turn to Him.
Conclusion: crisis situations draw your attention to Self, Truth and the Highest. Perhaps the time has come for changes in your life and you should not resist them. Perhaps it's time to take your Power. Perhaps this is a test of strength (more about this below in the Astrological interpretation of events).
Advice: try to change your attitude towards what is happening, reorient yourself from the end to a new beginning, be flexible and do not fall into despair - THERE IS A WAY OUT OF ANY SITUATION, even yours.
Well, judge for yourself - you lost your job, you will definitely find another one, you just need to make an effort and search hard. If you have suffered material damage, say “thank you, Lord, for taking me with money.” Your lover has left you, learn to live in love with yourself and life.
Does it feel like the world is collapsing? This is wrong! He's just rebuilding. And perhaps for you!
IN this article I described the Tao of Pluto and offered an exercise for getting out of plutonic depression - Pluto is associated with death and loss, deep transformations and rebirth. In this exercise, you need to lie down in the bathtub with your head under the water - a symbolic dive to the bottom, the moment of “death” and emerge “born again.” When you hit the bottom of life, you have a chance to push off with your feet and begin to float - the Tao of Pluto talks about scuba diving and diving into the depths.
ASTROCAUSES and RETURN OF SATURN
If we look at such destructive situations from an astrological point of view, then here we are dealing with life and planetary cycles.
Each planet has its own cycle, for example, the cycle of the Moon, which reflects the structures life processes- everything has a birth, development, culmination and decline/death/end. At the moment when several negative stories coincide in life at once (there are positive ones too, but we rarely note this as something significant), the climax, the full moon of life, comes. After some time there will be a decline.
On full moons, you usually need to part with something that has become obsolete; these are times of heightened emotionality and difficulties in controlling it. A little later, you will look at what happened with much less tragedy.
At these moments you need to allow yourself to live your emotions.
Saturn has long cycles, a full cycle lasting about 29-30 years and intermediate cycles of seven years. Saturn is considered a harsh planet, and I often associate it with Morozko from the fairy tale of the same name, when he tested the strength of the main characters by asking them “if they were warm” and then gave them gifts according to their test scores. Likewise, life (Saturn) tests how humble, strong, wise, and ready to take responsibility for one’s life and become its Authors.
Here is the woman who wrote the first letter, who is just experiencing her Second Saturn Return (occurs around the age of 59-60). This is a time of another restructuring of life, challenges of fate, tests and great opportunities with the task of determining long term goals its further development. We perceive this time as a time of crises, we can be sad and despair, but Saturn is a strict and fair Teacher, he will bestow us in the future, but after a difficult period of change and restructuring.
Saturn asks us to engage in soul-searching and self-knowledge, to go through the process of re-inventorying ourselves and our ways of life. We may encounter something that does not work in our life, limitations and obstacles, see gaps, weak points. Saturn slows us down so that we can look with a firm and cold gaze at the reality we have built in our lives and find new ways and means to become a true author - an authority - in our lives. We have another chance to become who we really are.
In mythology, Saturn is associated with the harvest, with rewards for efforts made. If we are willing to wait, work, persevere. Saturn is a strict Teacher and he asks us to clear away our psychological and physical garbage and dig up the soil (our psyche) before we plant new seeds (new intentions/new life). During the Return we have the chance for real change and life-renewing rewards. This is truly a planet of opportunity.
During the Second Return, the wisdom of the Elder comes. Our personal and public safety is being reconsidered. This is a difficult time and harvest time, the results of work over the past years.
We ask a lot of questions at this time. We cannot repeat past mistakes. We are taking the first steps towards new beginnings.
Saturn often asks, “Whose movie am I in?” and challenges being a director and screenwriter. It would be too easy to read the lines of a well-known script. Instead, we must become Self-Authors and become the true Authors of our lives.
We need to rewrite the script of our lives. It's not always easy, our lives are full of people and situations that no longer reflect who we are. The human unconscious often creates situations that challenge us. It is as if it is hiring other people to play certain roles in our life story - this one will be the boss, this one will be the victim, and this one will be the unfaithful lover. Saturnian post-checks in life are associated with moments when these people play their roles and the time comes to adjust their life script. We must take back our projections and look at the drama of our lives as OUR responsibility. And don't blame anyone.
During the Second Return, Saturn calls for concrete action in the real world, but it is all very subtle. If we don't do what we need to do, we may never get a second chance. If you put off checking your health, it may be too late. If you don't admit to yourself that “my job is killing me, but I need to wait until I retire,” it may actually kill you.
As the body ages, fatigue and depression increase, the body is no longer an object of pride and then the Spirit has a chance to come forward. Some old habits may show their heads and need to be cut off. You may be asking yourself, “why do I have to deal with this issue again?” and the answer will be “because you’ve almost solved it.” Now you look at things more wisely and maturely. With the gift of wisdom, you complete unfinished matters and situations.
At this time, you need to clean the very foundations - the basements of your existence and look at your de-idealizations, let the illusions go away. Now is the time to slow down and allow pleasant things to come into your life.
We can return to what gives the fruits of our experience - a certain project, something that we can do well and even better.
And here are the tools to help you pass the Saturnian checks:
1 To be discerning (discern (English) - to distinguish, recognize)
Since I am wiser today than I was a year ago and know much more, I can wisely use choices based on clarity of intentions. Dream of a future with a clearly visible path between the trees. “Know yourself” and “Nothing superfluous” - the inscriptions from the Delphic Temple are clearly for me. Now I need to step back from the excesses of youth and clearly understand what I can and cannot do.
2 Be cordial
Take courage and ask knowledgeable people for advice. And in myself: how much I project my insecurities and fears into the surrounding reality, making my life miserable, unable to take responsibility and cordially perceive those around me.
3 Go deeper
“All or nothing” is a rather superficial quick fix, but Saturn doesn’t like quick fixes. No quick decisions or things done in a hurry! It is better to withstand the tension of tearing contradictions and internal conflicts until a new form of the idea appears. And only then is it time to get out of your usual comfort zone and do it! “Dig deep - you will find precious water at the very bottom!”
4 Take action!
In the end, Saturn rewards those who do and depresses those who postpone from day to day.
It’s ironic - but while we are waiting (for the warmth and good weather of spring - by the sea of good weather :)) Saturn tests us for the strength of our faith - rebirth and rebirth. We are like seeds on a windowsill, waiting for seedlings and watering. And in due time we must act, dig deep, separate the weeds from the emerging flowers...
...everything comes in due time..
We have dwelt in great detail on the Saturn Return cycle (especially for my reader who asked the question), but there are also many other cycles - for example, the opposition of Uranus and the square of Neptunes at the age of about 40-42 years old called the Midlife Crisis, the Return of Jupiter - occurs every 12 years old and also marks the beginning and end of certain milestones in life, an upgrade in life style. Personal cycles can be learned through consultations with astrologers, and everyone has their own working astro influences in difficult moments of life.
Conclusion: current events are influenced by planetary, cosmic and other cycles.
Advice: if you need support in times of crisis, contact professional therapists (psychologists, astrologers, etc.) and support groups, ask for help from friends and family. They will definitely help you regain your lost hope.
When everything in life seems to be falling apart...
start thinking about what you will build in the vacant space. Osho
Reader question:
Hello! I'm 32, I'm divorced. Lately my life has been falling apart. I can’t decide on a job, I can’t get a job, no matter where I look, nothing works out. Relations with family and friends are worse than ever, health is poor. Please tell me what prayers to read in this case, when there is no happiness in life?
Archpriest Andrei Efanov answers:
Why are you, young man, completely unstuck! Is it really possible? Only 32 years old! Come on, dear, come to your senses! You are the master of your situation, and with God’s help, you can straighten it out. Prayers are not a spell, they are a living appeal to God, the Mother of God and the saints, as to a living person. Yes, they are all living people, even the Lord Himself was born and lived a human life, all the more so He understands each of us, He Himself went through what people go through. Therefore, you need to improve your spiritual life as a whole. Come to a temple that you like, ask there, for example, where and when you can talk to the priest, and come talk. In a personal live conversation, you will determine how and when you will come to confession, how you will pray, how often you will receive communion and participate in divine services. Gradually you will begin to delve into church life, look at yourself and your situation more soberly, relying on the experience of church tradition, correct your life, improve it.
Don’t delay the conversation, in the meantime, start reading morning and evening prayers, and throughout the day, pray briefly: “Lord, have mercy.” Try reading the Gospel. Not all at once, gradually. What is unclear - look in the interpretations. They are also on the Internet.
And at the same time, do something yourself. Firstly, if you suddenly have depression, then you need to go to a psychologist and understand whether it is serious. If it doesn’t exist, then don’t let yourself go, but act. Deal calmly with your health: go to the doctor, get examined, start doing exercises, drink vitamins, eat healthy food (learn to cook better at the same time), and so on. This is generally the first thing - to improve your health!
If you had children in marriage, take care of them, help your wife with the child, you can - with money, if not - determine the days of the week on which you will take the child or be with him. I separated from my wife - this is my wife. But you remained mom and dad! And the responsibility is on you.
With your family, see what you can do yourself. If you have offended them, look where and how you can improve, how you can really help... and pray. And there, God willing, you will see how and what you yourself could do here, what you could change.
About work is a difficult question to write about. But under no circumstances should you sit at home! Search, ask everywhere, this is also a matter of your health and salvation. You must stand on your own feet. Remember what you can do and start with something, just don’t give up. This period will pass, and even better - you yourself will be able to change it to something better, joyful and suitable for you.
Very often, when you least expect it and things are going well, life gives you an unpleasant surprise. A streak of failure begins, which can have very serious consequences. When something goes wrong, it feels like the ground is falling away from under your feet.
Whenever your luck turns against you, people around you advise you to look on the bright side of life, look for the positive moments and think about those who are even less fortunate. But this advice is not very useful. This makes you feel even worse.
Let yourself feel bad
You may well feel bad and admit that everything you receive from life at this moment is real. Perhaps you are faced with an unexpected illness or job loss. You may suddenly have financial difficulties, or bad news may fall on you. Whatever it is, you have the right to complain. Having the blues isn't the worst thing you can do. In fact, this is a healthy, necessary response that will help you in the healing process and return to normal life.
Take responsibility and move on
The most important thing you can do is understand the difference between "blame yourself" and "take responsibility." Perhaps the fall was your fault, or you had no control over what was happening. In any case, it is very important to understand what exactly happened and learn this lesson.
However, there is no point in beating yourself up. It's much better to take responsibility for your actions, think about what needs to be done and whether you have another chance, and then, once you've figured it all out, start moving on. 
Think about yourself
Another way to soften the blow is to be very kind and generous to yourself. Now is the right time to pamper yourself in simple and healthy ways. Take a break from all your problems and focus on yourself. Taking a walk in nature, swimming in the ocean, or taking a soothing bath are simple, inexpensive ways to soothe yourself.
Pay attention to your health, both physical and emotional. Eat well and drink plenty of water. Remember that exercise is a natural antidepressant. Take time to do what you love and meet people who make you happy. Also accept yourself when you are sad or irritable. Talk about it. Write about it. Listen to music or do what you like. These are the things that will help you explore your bad feelings and find the good in life. 
Accept what happened
Finally, try to find a solution. Let your consolation be in the knowledge that every moment passes and this feeling will not last forever. Sometimes all you can do is wait, especially if you are grieving. The breakdown of a relationship, the death of a loved one, as well as other negative things, are heartbreaking and make you unhappy.
Denying your emotions or hiding them inside is wrong. Not only is this unhealthy, but it will also cause more harm in the long run. If you do everything right away bad job“and you can endure it, you will eventually begin to heal. 
Know that it will make you stronger
You learn from your experiences and become stronger. You are going through life's difficulties. Some are stronger than others, but the only way outgrow it - accept both the good and the bad. It's very easy to feel angry and guilty about yourself, thinking that your life is falling apart, especially if you realize your mistakes.
When you are aware of what is going on around the world or even with the people in your life, it is very easy to feel like you have no right to complain. In some cases, it will actually help you get rid of depression. At the same time, there are sad days when you have the right to express dissatisfaction and face your worries. And it may take some basic motivation to make some changes in your life.
When everything falls apart
Human life is full of surprises, both good and bad!
However, today I would like to touch on those life moments that radically affect people. Personal tragedies, breakups and losses.
To do this, let's imagine for a moment the life of some imaginary person and add to his fate what God forbid each of us to experience!
So, a child was born, let’s say a girl. The first day at school, everyday life, vacations, first love, graduated from school and entered college...
Seems like a standard period of life. Let’s not be distracted by “minor difficulties.”
Now let's see who (as a person) he has become 30-35 years old our imaginary person!?
That’s right, nothing “military” is listed here, the person has lived a fairly normal life up to this point, with the exception of children!
But why do we focus on this particular period? Yes, because the regularity of life over such a fairly large period of time (by the age of 30-35) already carries danger!
Don’t consider me a pessimist or a provocateur, I’ll just deliberately begin to change the life of our heroine radically and deplorably for her. And all because you can’t pretend that this doesn’t happen!
... Another 3 years have passed. And then something happens that some may think, “well, that’s life.”
Our heroine is abandoned by her loved one and leaves forever...
We will even close our eyes to the fact that this could not happen suddenly. Let's assume that our heroine was “blind” and did not notice when her family broke down.
Do you think it will be easy for her to get over this mentally?
I will say more, even if you throw away love and leave only a feeling of attachment, it will be a real tragedy. And if she also loved her husband, then the WHOLE WORLD would simply COLLAPSE around her!
She will not be able to: concentrate on work, enjoy the sun, communicate with friends, even think normally, and this will be difficult.
That's not all. It will be terribly difficult to fall asleep at night. And even having lost herself in a dream, she will wake up in the morning and feel as if a heavy pillar of sadness was falling on her chest. And grief (precisely grief) will overwhelm her with new strength, like something dark and burning from the inside, will devour her, not allowing her to live normally. A sea of tears and complete apathy towards everything around you are inevitable.
Terrible? Unfortunately yes! There are very few people who can avoid all this if they find themselves in similar situation.
And the first reason here is sudden betrayal , which brought down all the inner and holy pillars. A person will never think that his measured and calm life can end overnight! And when this happens, the world around collapses!
The second reason– this is the hidden danger that a long and measured period of life carries! The fact is that the depth and pain from the possible collapse of the usual way of life is proportional to the duration of this period. In other words, the longer it takes, the harder it is to forget and change everything!
And we don’t even touch on the material structure. Only the internal state of our heroine!
Here is one example that in an instant can completely change a person! And the worst thing is that the change is irrevocable. Believe me, there are fates much worse than the one we just presented! And don’t look for hints here, I simply couldn’t help but touch on this topic.
Well, now, I will not betray myself and will give one effective advice to those who (I hope there are no such people) find themselves in a similar situation. And it doesn't matter whether it's a man or a woman. Betrayal and collapse hit everyone equally.
So. If the world collapses overnight , if you cannot believe that a loved one betrayed you, and if this shock situation occurred to you, then YOU CAN'T TRY TO RETURN EVERYTHING AT ONCE!
Tears, requests, calls - all this is useless! Apart from aggravating the situation and additional pain, this will not bring.
You need to remove this internal feeling of horror and future mental picture of “what will happen next?”
And this is how it is done. There is no need to convince yourself that you strong man and everything that is not done is for the better. That's bullshit! This won't help!
On the contrary, imagine that in exactly a month, your loved one will return to you! Moreover, you need to present it in such a way that neither he nor you are to blame for what happened!
I understand: anger, love, hatred, sentimentality - all this will fill your consciousness in turn. Therefore, try to drive away negative thoughts and emotions from yourself, and leave only positive ones!
Draw yourself a situation in every detail, how in a month or two, you two YOU WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN AND FOREVER!
I know what I am saying! That's exactly how it is! Your consciousness is already traumatized, so it is very important here GIVE IT WHAT IT'S LOST – regularity, even in dreams!
This is not self-deception! With the right attitude, it will be exactly as you draw your future within yourself!
Second. There is no need to think at the moment of grief whether you can forgive and accept it back or not. YOU WILL DECIDE THIS LATER! Now the most important thing is your state of mind! Remember this!
Constantly imagine that everything is about to get better! Give yourself specific date: in a month, three, six months, a year - but he (s) EVERYTHING WILL RETURN TO YOU AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY!
Third. Burn comedy series to DVD. Let them be primitive, the main thing is the result. And this is your laughter or smile! Watch them for several hours in a row!
All in all, Your goal is to soften the blow to self-awareness! Everything else comes later! How long it will take you should also not worry.
Thoughts will still return to reality, and here you need to show your will. Convince yourself that your loved one just left for a couple of months.
I emphasize!
This advice is only suitable for those who are really experiencing mental anguish in a similar situation!
May nothing like what is written above happen to you!
